Picking a book for someone else is tough. Sometimes it is even tough to pick your own next read. We’ve all been there, I think. 

You finally pick up that book everyone hyped on Booktok, Bookstagram, Goodreads, or that WhatsApp book club. You sit down with a cup of chai, full of anticipation, and then… nothing. You struggle through the first few chapters, waiting to “get into it,” but the spark never arrives. You are then confused. Did you get the title wrong? Is something wrong with the book? Or worse, is something wrong with you?

Here’s the cold truth. The book isn’t bad, and you’re not a bad reader either. What probably went wrong is the recommendation itself.

In a reading culture increasingly driven by algorithms and viral lists, we’ve forgotten something very fundamental. Picking a book for your next read or recommending one is supposed to be personal. Just like you would never ask a stranger to pick your outfit for best friend’s wedding, you shouldn’t expect perfect book suggestions without any context. While we are at it, let us also admit that in India, book recommendations come with their own unique quirks. You might get a Toni Morrison novel from your liberal arts friend, Chanakya Neeti from your uncle, and Ikigai from every person in your apartment complex’s elevator book club. And all of them mean well, but do they really know you or your preferences or what you need right now? As readers and writers, we owe it to each other to go beyond vague prompts like “What should I read next?” and step into conversations that are a little more thoughtful.

We all wish that we could live as the ‘Beast’s captive’ where we would not only have a library rent free, but also little helpers to help us with everything – including finding books to read. However, picking the right book should not feel like having to volunteer for the Hunger Games either. Let’s start with the elephant in the room (or in the bookstore) first. Just because a book is popular, award-winning, or even beloved by your best friend, doesn’t mean it will work for you. Context is always important, as is taste and expectation.

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Picking a book according to preferences:

Every reader has different preferences. Someone who devours fast-paced thrillers may find literary fiction too slow. A fan of romance might not enjoy a gritty, realist novel about partition. And someone who loved Five Point Someone might not have the patience for The Alchemist. What often happens, though, is that we assume our emotional response to a book is universal. If a novel made us cry at 2 AM (hello, The Kite Runner), we believe it will do the same for everyone else. But that’s not how reading works. Our enjoyment depends not just on the book itself, but also on who we are, what we’re going through, and what we expect when we start turning those pages.

Picking a book according to expectations:

‘It was not what I expected’, is a common disappointment and it usually boils down to poor framing. Say someone recommends The Midnight Library to a friend who’s dealing with grief, telling them “It’s a beautiful book about hope.” While that is the truth, it also leaves out the fact that the novel begins with a suicide attempt. For someone emotionally raw, that can be jarring or even harmful. This is where a little context can go a long way in helping the reader make an informed choice.

Reading realities:

In India, recommendation mismatches can also stem from cultural gaps. For example, a reader who grew up on Malgudi Days and The Room on the Roof may not immediately relate to diasporic novels like The Namesake or Girl in White Cotton unless they have guidance about the context. On the other hand, someone raised on Harry Potter and Throne of Glass may find Indian literary fiction intimidating or too slow unless the right entry point is offered. Add to that the complications of language, class access, and publishing bias. One-size-fits-all recommendations will only alienate the readers further.

Current trends:

Social media has made book recommendation culture louder but not necessarily smarter. While #BookTok and #Bookstagram have introduced thousands of people to reading, they also tend to favor the same dozen books in rotating cycles. They create an illusion that if you didn’t like It Ends With Us, you’re somehow out of step with “real” readers. When the truth is, you might just need a different kind of story.

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Most people ask for book recommendations like this:

“Any good books to read?”

Or worse:

“I want my teen niece/nephew to become a reader. What book should I gift her/him?

And the worst:

“Suggest something, yaar.”

And then they wonder why they end up with a 500 page literary tome when they were really craving a cozy weekend comfort read. If you want a good recommendation, you have to ask better questions. Think of it like ordering at a restaurant, really. You wouldn’t just tell the waiter, “Get me something tasty.” You’d say, “I’m in the mood for something spicy, vegetarian, and not too heavy.” The same rule applies to books.

Here’s how to level up your ask:

1. Be specific about what you are in mood for:

Books often evoke emotions. So instead of saying “I want a good novel,” try:

• “I’m in the mood for something that’ll make me laugh after a stressful week.”
• “I want a story that’ll break my heart and slowly put it back together.”
• “I’m looking for something uplifting but not preachy.”

This helps the recommender think emotionally, not just categorically.

2. Mention why you have enjoyed certain books:

Give people a reference point. When you say:

• “I loved The Night Circus for its atmosphere.”
• “I loved Mistborn Series for the world building and the magic system.”
• “I couldn’t finish Wuthering Heights because of too much drama.”

This way, you are not just listing titles, you are revealing your tastes and preferences. That is what helps someone to pick the right book for you.

3. Share your reading goals

Are you new to reading? Or, do you want to get back into reading after a long break? Are you hoping to discover some gems amongst Indians Writing in English? Are you trying to explore Indian literature in translation? Are you preparing to write your own novel and want to study character arcs? It helps people to know why you want to read helps the other person recommend with more care. If you’re an aspiring author working on a mystery thriller, someone might get you to pick up The Maltese Falcon or The Three Coffins instead of just handing you Gone Girl.

4. We are in the age of AI: use smart prompts

Instead of broadcasting a vague “Book recommendations, please?” on Twitter or Threads, try something like:

• “Looking for Indian short story collections with emotional depth and clean prose.”
• “Loved Before the Coffee Gets Cold. Want more quiet, reflective fiction. Preferably with some magical realism.”
• “Need something gripping but not violent.”

You’ll get fewer random replies, more meaningful recommendations and picking the right book for yourself or your friend becomes easier.

If you can include further details about format, length and language preferences, that is even better. Like,

“I prefer books under 300 pages”

“I am open to Hindi/Urdu translations”

“Audiobook friendly, please!”

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These small details will help eliminate mismatches. Imagine recommending Shantaram to someone who wants a quick weekend read! That’s just cruel. Or, recommending The Bell Jar to someone battling depression because “it’s a classic.” Or, gifting Lolita to a young reader without explaining the critical lens. That’s not just plain awkward, it can be harmful too. Readers bring their lived experiences, traumas, values, and emotional quotient to the page. A book that moved you to tears might trigger someone else. A novel that helped you heal might be too raw for someone still struggling. That is why context is everything. It helps filter not just what a book is about, but how it lands emotionally and intellectually.

Books are more than stories. They can be mirrors, windows, anchors, or even escape routes. The right book at the right time can change lives. But to find that right one, we need more than luck or viral and trendy lists. We need context. We need conversations. Whether you’re a reader trying to fall in love with books again, a writer wanting to understand your audience better, or you are picking a book for your friend, or someone who simply enjoys sharing what they love… how you recommend (or ask for) a book matters. A lot.

So next time someone asks, “What should I read?” pause before shouting out your current favorite book at them. Ask them what they are looking for. Ask what they need. Ask what they’re hoping to feel. And if you’re the one asking, show yourself the same kindness. Be honest about what you’re looking for. Picking a book with “bestseller” or “must-read” tags may not be what you need. Maybe it’s a quiet little novella that reminds you of monsoon evenings in your grandmother’s house or it could even be a children’s fiction that reminds you of your school library.

We live in a time where you have access to ‘must-read’ lists with a click. But, taking the time to picking a book with careful thought is an act of community. In the end, book recommendations aren’t just about suggesting random bestsellers or favourites. They are also about building trust.

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The Author Debdatta Dasgupta leads the Reading Retreat in the Himalayas. It is held every 3-4 months at the Himalayan Writing Retreat.